We know the drill all too well - bedtime arrives, and suddenly, it's as if your sweet, angelic toddler transforms into a master negotiator, pulling out every trick in the book to delay going to bed. Cue the frustration we've all felt when we are trying to be calm, confident leaders and what we really want to say is "JUST GO TO SLEEP!"
Why Toddlers Stall at Bedtime
First and foremost, bedtime marks the end of their day, and their desire to continue the fun and adventure often leads to resistance (hello FOMO). Moreover, their growing independence and newfound ability to express preferences collide with the idea of surrendering to sleep. Add in a developing sense of control and a natural curiosity about the world around them, and you've got a perfect recipe for bedtime delays.
Toddlers might stall to test boundaries, seek attention, or simply because they genuinely enjoy spending more time with their favorite people—yes, that's you! Understanding these underlying reasons can help parents navigate and tackle bedtime stall tactics more effectively.
How to Deal with Toddler Stalling at Bedtime:
1. Stick to a Consistent Routine:
Routines are essential for EVERY age. Establishing a consistent bedtime routine sets the stage for a smoother transition to sleep. Whether it's bath time, followed by pajamas, story reading, or cuddles, sticking to a predictable sequence signals that bedtime is approaching.
2. Set Clear Expectations:
Toddlers thrive on knowing what's coming next. Before bedtime, communicate that it's sleep time soon and maintain firm, yet gentle, boundaries. Clear and consistent communication helps them understand what to expect.
3. Offer Choices Within Limits:
Empower your tiny negotiator by offering choices within limits. For instance, "Would you like to brush your teeth before or after your story?" This gives them a sense of control without veering off the bedtime track.
4. Use Visual Aids or Timers:
Visual cues work wonders! Try using a bedtime chart or a visual timer to show your toddler the bedtime routine. It’s like a bedtime roadmap guiding them to sleep.
5. Wind Down Time:
Create a calm and relaxing environment as bedtime approaches. Dim the lights, lower the noise levels, and engage in soothing activities to signal that it's time to wind down.
6. Stay Firm and Consistent:
Once you’ve set the routine, stick to it! Toddlers are expert testers of limits, so staying consistent in your responses helps reinforce the bedtime rules.
7. Positivity and Praise:
Celebrate small victories! When your little one cooperates with the routine, offer praise and positive reinforcement. Encouragement works wonders in shaping their behavior.
8. Patience is a Virtue:
Bedtime battles won't vanish overnight. Be patient and persistent in implementing the routine. Consistency is your best friend in this bedtime journey.
9. Avoid Power Struggles:
Pick your battles wisely. If it’s not crucial, consider letting minor delays slide. Sometimes, a little flexibility can prevent unnecessary power struggles.
10. Seek Their Feedback:
Involve your toddler in the process. Ask them what might make bedtime more enjoyable or easier for them. Sometimes, their input can surprise you! Encouraging your toddler to participate in the bedtime routine can empower them and make the process feel less imposed upon them.
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Toddler Stalling Bedtime with Poop
Ahh... the one request toddlers know parents can never deny: "but I have to go poop!" Here are some options for making that excuse less of a stall tactic for your toddler.
Set Bathroom Time Earlier: Encourage your toddler to use the bathroom well before bedtime. Make it part of the routine, ensuring they have enough time to comfortably finish their business.
Limit Fluid Intake: Reduce the intake of fluids close to bedtime to minimize the likelihood of a late-night bathroom visit.
Establish a Pre-Bedtime Bathroom Ritual: Make a trip to the bathroom a non-negotiable part of the bedtime routine. This helps create consistency and reduces the chance of bathroom-related stalling.
Address Anxiety or Discomfort: Sometimes, toddlers might use bowel movements as a stalling tactic due to discomfort or anxiety. Address any concerns they might have about using the toilet or being alone in the dark.
Encourage Healthy Bathroom Habits: Praise and encourage your toddler for using the bathroom at appropriate times. Positive reinforcement can reinforce good habits.
Stay Calm and Firm: If you suspect stalling, gently but firmly remind your toddler about the earlier bathroom trip. Avoid making it a point of contention, as this might encourage further stalling behavior.
Adjust the Routine if Necessary: Consider adjusting the bedtime routine if your child consistently has genuine bowel movements at bedtime. Shifting activities earlier might help accommodate their needs.
Remember, accidents and delays can happen, especially with toddlers. Being patient, understanding, and consistent in your approach can help minimize bedtime stalling related to bowel movements while ensuring a smoother bedtime routine for everyone.
Be proactive when it comes to some of these bedtime stalling tactics by spending 10 minutes of 1:1 child directed play time with your little one before their bedtime routine. No phones, no distractions, just let them lead the way!
So, parents, if you're in the bedtime battlefield currently, take heart! Consistency, patience, and a sprinkle of creativity are your allies in overcoming bedtime stall tactics.
Remember, each toddler is unique, and what works for one might not work for another. It’s all about finding the right approach that fits your child's temperament and your family dynamics.
Yes, bedtime stalls might persist, but with a little strategy and understanding, you’ll be well on your way to more peaceful evenings. Stay resilient, stay consistent, and soon enough, those bedtime stall tactics will be a thing of the past!
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Author:
Ashley Olson is a certified pediatric sleep consultant, owner of Heaven Sent Sleep and co-founder of Raising Happy Sleepers and The Collective for Family Rest and Wellness, and is passionate about helping new parents, experienced parents, and desperate and sleep-deprived parents form healthy sleep habits for their children.
She has over 6 years of experience in working with families and has completed over 150 hours of coursework plus continuing education related to infant and toddler sleep. The focus of her work is on fostering a routine that grows your bond with your child while improving their sleep habits. She specializes in custom sleep plans and one-on-one support in changing sleep practices!